I’m excited to write my first blog post. I feel like I have so much to say but I don’t
know if I’ll articulate everything all at once. I hope everything will make
sense as I write.
First and foremost all Glory and Praise to Jesus!
GOD.IS.REAL. That revelation is
overwhelming at times because I feel that, now that I know and accept and truly
believe in His existence He should just take me home! There are 7 billion
people on this Earth, you’ll find someone else to do what you want me to do:
JUST TAKE ME HOME. And then at times, I know and believe He’s real, He’s here
but then in my mind he is so far away. And when you add the dysfunction in the
world in all its forms it makes me frustrated because I feel that “Can you just
speed up time and get to the point so you can establish a new Earth and you’ll
reign for eternity.” Those moments, the impatience is unreal.
But I digress.
The point of this post is to just give Praise to God for his
goodness and mercy and love and faithfulness. I recently wrote the LSAT exam
(and when I get my results and get into the school I want I will post my
testimony), and that process I chalk it off to God. I fasted, and prayed, my
momma and my besties were praying for me, and I felt such a calmness and peace
that at one point I thought to myself: “Holy Spirit, what’s the point of me
going there. My victory has already been won.” It’s not that I felt cocky, but
the certainty I felt was unreal. I don’t think I have had that level of faith,
where I am 100% sure of what I cannot see. It wasn’t mind over matter. That was
just God being God. The morning of, I opened my Bible and the verse I landed on
was Proverbs 2: 6—For the Lord giveth
wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.” Another
version I’ve seen is this:“All wisdom
comes from the Lord, and so do common sense and understanding.”
These verses are powerful in themselves and in the context
of the situation. And that morning, this made me smile and feel so confident.
It was also a reminder to myself that it’s not by my own wisdom and knowledge
that I am going to pass this exam, but it’s through the wisdom and knowledge
and understanding that God has already given me.
The days and weeks before this exam, a thought had been
gnawing at the back of my mind, thoughts of “what if I fail?” “What if God
abandons me? What if he doesn’t pull through with his promise? Maybe this is
just my mind making things up.” The fearful thoughts the devil was trying to
paralyze me with sent me running to Jesus, and that’s how I ended up fasting. I
had planned months before that I would fast 2 weeks before the exam, but when
that week was approaching I toyed with the idea of not fasting. But then I was
bombarded with these thoughts, and I told myself I wasn’t going to have a melt
down before the exam. I suppose I should thank the devil, but I won’t. He’s a
liar and a thief. He doesn’t deserve any gratitude from me. Busta has stolen
more than he has given.
After the fast I received this word: Numbers 23:19—“God is not a man, that he should lie;
neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not
do it? Or hath he spoken and shall he not make it good?” This has been my
new go-to scripture because I think it’s a huge building block in my
understanding of God and in my walk to trusting him. Trust has always been an
issue with me, even with God. I trust Him with some things, and not with
others. And this was confirmation about what He put in my heart (which I shall
reveal when everything comes together, but trust me it’s AH-mazing!). It really
struck me that this was God saying, “Listen, I am not going back on my word. I
don’t go back on my word, I never do. I’m not a man/human being that I will say
something then apologize for not doing it later. I say something and I do it; I
speak and I fulfill it, I make it good.” It’s like that scripture in Isaiah
55:11; where he says when he speaks, his word will accomplish the purpose for
which it was sent; he can’t swallow back his words. There are no take backs
with God, and I think that is important when you are going through this journey
and when you may have doubts about His promises and whether he will fulfill
what he spoke to you. Those thoughts try to plague me too; even now as I sit
and write this, part of me is wondering how all of this is (my life, my career)
is going to come together, but He promises that he has plans to prosper me, and
that is a promise that he will fulfill because he is not a liar, and what he
says he will do, he will do it.
FIght For your Blessing !
And hey, if reminding God of what his word says helps keep
the power of suggestion from the devil from attacking you, do it. Because in
reminding God, you always end up reminding yourself and solidifying that trust
in Him.
There have been times where something will happen or a
thought will come about, and in my righteous anger I go to the Holy Spirit,
livid because all the low-blows Satan is taking, and for some reason all these
scriptures I never knew I knew start coming out and I’m slaying demons and
reading the devil for filth, and by the end of it, whatever powers of illusion
the devil was trying to establish is broken and I go about my day. I start off
going to God saying “What is this foolishness that you are permitting the devil
to do” and it ends up being redirected to shredding the devil to dust. Those days, I swear, if there was a portal
into the spirit world I’d have the devil running to God for protection. Those
days I am not here for his shenanigans. And that’s how we have to be in all
situations. Slay him with God’s word, but don’t just say it to say it; believe
what you are saying and be firm and swing that sword of the word of God and
take no prisoners. If he were in your
face at that moment you need to see yourself just annihilating him. And it’s
not through your own power, it’s through the Spirit of God, it’s through what
God says: that you are more than a conqueror; it’s through his word that says He
defeated the devil already; it’s through his word that says that the devil may
have power but he doesn’t have authority over your life. You have to remember
that when he comes at you trying to spin his web of lies.
I think it was Shamiso telling me that, the devil is a
spirit and he sees the blessings that God has given us but tries to make us
doubt because we don’t physically see it before its manifestation. So him coming to you, trying to sow seeds of
doubt, means something is about to go down. And I’m m not saying I am always
keeping watching and I’m always alert, and it’s something I am working on, but
even if you falter, run back to Jesus, repent, get restored and come back
energized and ready.
Because we have all given the devil our time, minds,
energies, bodies, our money thinking we are investing in something good, and
none of us have gotten a return on our investment. The devil’s time’s up.
Personally, I think I gave him more chances than I gave God, and I got nothing
on my investment. Not even a penny. Not even a dime. A dime, Satan; your
lying-self couldn’t even give me that.
So, yes, I’m confident in my walk with God now, and I know I have life,
peace, prosperity, and an overflow of blessings in Him.
Chenai
Love this Chenai!
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