Darkness overwhelms you as you cry out to your father. Your friends no longer are able to stand with you in prayer. You find yourself alone, but not lonely, because you are sure your father, Yahweh, is with you. You know your purpose, you know what you are to do. But still, the weight of your cross seems to be bearing down on your shoulders.
When the hour came for the purpose and will of God to be completed, Jesus Christ, The Prince of Peace, found his "soul overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Matthew 26: 38). In private he cried out to his father saying, "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will" (Matthew 26:39).
When you cry out to God, only you know your portion. Only you understand your pain. Your friends, sister or even boyfriend will not understand that darkest hour. When you lay awake - tears rolling down your face, knees aching from kneeling in awe in the presence of your heavenly father - your loved ones lay asleep. Jesus himself found his followers sleeping during his darkest hour. Three times did he come to them and tell them: "What! could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray lest you enter into temptation" (Matthew 26: 40) Indeed, although the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41).
Ladies, when we cry out to God in private God is quick to answer our prayers in his due time. God will use his heavenly resources(Matthew 26:53) to come down here on earth and equip you with the courage you will require to risk it all, in public. If our Lord Jesus had to go on his face three times, expressing his fears, worries and distress to God, what more us? Don't give up seeking God. He desires for us to seek him earnestly with our whole heart! Ladies, the Lord has promised us that if we draw near to him, he will draw near to us (James 4:8). We understand that the prayers of the righteous availeth much (James 5:16) so know that your prayers will not fall to the ground without God hearing them.
If we truly understood how precious our cries are to God, we would understand that if we cry out for a legend of angles to come down they will surely descend. When the "angle appeared to him from heaven, strengthening him" Jesus did not stop praying - rather, in his state of agony, he continued to pray earnestly to the point of sweating blood! What ever situation you are passing through, key word PASSING through, God will uses his resources to strengthen you to continue seeking him in private. Further, when you stand in public you will have unspeakable courage to face your persecutors and at the same time, know your identity in Christ. When that hour arrives you will have peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7) and be able to were your crown of thorns with the hope of glory.
Truly the flash is weak, but if you push through the flesh and connect with your spirit you will be able to worship God in spirit and in truth in the mist of chaos and calamity.
I remember when I hit the bottom of the pit. Feelings of emptiness and lack of self worth overwhelmed me. I tried to fill my empty void with people but it left me feeling even more empty. I could not talk to my friends because I knew them enough to know what they would say and how they would react. You know those moments when you know the advice someone will give to you and it just wont cut it? I decided that if God is who he truly says he is, then if I seek him he will draw closer to me. If not, he is a liar. I cut off my little boyfriend, drifted away from my friends and went into complete isolation. I cried earnestly to God and began seeking his face, asking him to reveal who he was to me. I did not have my friends or family to support me; I had to seek God's face for myself.
When I shattered all of the limitations I had on God and released him from that little claustrophobic box I had placed him in, I finally saw him move in my life. He has completely transformed me into the image of his Son. Because I am an heir to the thrown (Romans 8:17), I am able to have the courage to walk in my destiny and speak to people with supernatural boldness and no fear of reproach. When I call for help (Ephesians 1:3) every single spiritual blessing in Christ is available to me. Dear sister, this same help is available to you as well. Keep fighting the fight for your relationship with Christ Jesus so that he may strengthen you and give you courage.
~ Shamiso. M
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